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- Subtitles By Moneyboi -
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Why don't you tell us about
your first Mardi Gras.
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Well, it was the best Mardi Gras ever!
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When we met, over 60 years ago, I was...
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It was the Rex Parade.
I was in the Queen's court.
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She was a beautiful princess.
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Howie asked me to attend
a ball with him later that week.
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I don't know what took him so long!
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Well, I was nervous.
I'd never seen such a beautiful creature, ever.
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I didn't give up the pussy till the fifth date.
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Kept me waitin' three weeks.
I thought my balls were gonna explode!
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They eventually did, all over my titties.
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Love those titties, honey.
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There they are, winkin' at me again.
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Sweetheart, I love you.
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Hey! That's all of 'em.
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Only one thing left to do.
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You sure about this?
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Nope. But if this doesn't work,
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I don't know what else will.
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God be with us.
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The social environment in contrast
to the natural environment
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play�s a key role in self-perception.
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Your notes need some love.
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Your arm needs some love.
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You know, that's not
the only part of me that needs some love.
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I hope we're thinking about the same part?
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Otherwise what I have in mind
could be incredibly awkward.
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For both of us.
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I think we're gonna be okay.
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There's a study group
at my apartment tonight.
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Is your place quiet?
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Should be. Doubt Bump and
Scottie have anything going on.
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Party! Big party tonight!
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Oh, my God.
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4029 Walnut!
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Beer and chips! It's gonna be huge!
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Yes!
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Everyone's gonna get laid!
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Rock on!
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-Did you know about this?
-No.
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But it is definitely
gonna get worse before it gets better.
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Please!
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I'll help.
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-Where's the music?
-It's not working.
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-Do something!
-Well, what am I supposed to do?
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Figure it out!
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Party tonight! Yeah, yeah.
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Gonna be sweet. Big party!
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Fun times, right? Okay!
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Rock on!
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-Son of a bitch!
-I got it!
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What the fuck?
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It won't turn off.
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Why is that even on there in the first place?
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It's... It must've skipped to my bath mix.
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You stupid bitch, do something!
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This is embarrassing!
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I'm freezing and my cock is so small!
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I look like a goddamn hamster!
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Fuck it.
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Excuse me. Pardon me.
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About how many
of you are there in this row?
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Fifteen, is that something?
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Gonna be beer!
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Gonna be food, gonna be chicks, yeah!
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-Hey, guys.
-Bump.
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Hey. Erica, so...
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We're having a big party
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and you know,
you should bring all of your friends.
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Only the hot ones!
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Hey, so just take one and pass it down.
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So I guess,
it's not gonna be quiet at your place after all.
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It's hard to say.
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Oops.
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Let me get that for you, sweetheart.
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No!
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How have you been able
to put up with this since high school?
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They're my best friends.
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Think it might be time for an upgrade?
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Just in case somebody didn't get one, okay?
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Yeah.
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Don't forget! Free booze!
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Gonna be the greatest party of all time!
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This is the worst party of all time.
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Okay, guys, think I'm gonna call it a night.
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Maybe go kill myself?
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Come on, Bump!
Look on the bright side, man.
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Least we got enough
booze and food to last us the rest of the year.
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This is bullshit!
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We're second semester seniors,
and look at us!
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Well, what? What's wrong with us?
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Not you, ''us.'' Us, ''us.''
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Yeah, the two of us
who don't have an incredibly hot girlfriend
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who's gonna come over
and screw us any minute now.
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Oh, come on! You guys don't have it so bad.
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I mean, at least I've been laid.
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Scottie's a goddamn
virgin who talks to his cock.
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Okay, leave Max out of this.
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I refuse to have a discussion
with a grown man who calls his penis Max.
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It's his name, what else would I call him?
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A worthless appendage that gets no poon?
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I don't know how
our social lives at this college got
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so shitty!
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Well, maybe showing
your anus to everyone in Behavioural Psych
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wasn't the best step forward.
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This sucks.
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I don't know how life could get any worse.
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Despair. Destruction. Desolation.
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Thankfully New Orleans
refused to give in to defeat,
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and today the city thrives again.
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Join us tomorrow night at 11:00
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as our own J T LeBlanc
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reports the rebuilding effort
that continues there today
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even as the city
celebrates this festive Mardi Gras season.
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That's it. That's what we have to do.
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We should volunteer
in the Lower Ninth Ward?
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Are chicks into that?
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I'm talking about Mardi Gras.
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This is the answer to all of our problems.
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I can't go to Mardi Gras.
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I think you guys
are missing the big picture here.
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This is our chance
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to make up for
all of the ''almosts'' and ''never wases''
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of the last four years.
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Do you know what
I searched to get this page?
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Mardi Gras!
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This was the first page that came up.
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Are we grasping that point?
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Bump, look, I'd love to go.
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I've got cousins that live down there.
But I'm not gonna just bail on Erica.
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Mike! You're our wingman! We need you.
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No!
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Look, you don't have to do it for me.
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You don't even have to do it for Scottie.
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But think about poor little Max,
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a ship before its virgin voyage.
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Dry docked.
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Never even been wet before.
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Not even its little head.
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-It's not little!
-Do it for Max.
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Think of it
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as Max's Mardi Gras.
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The chicks!
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My grandfather died.
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Oh, my God, Erica!
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I take it you came alone?
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He meant so much to me.
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I'll get a flight for the funeral.
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No, no. I don't want you to do that.
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I think I just need to be alone with my family.
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Just for a couple days.
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I understand.
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Can I do anything?
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You could give me a snuggle.
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And you could TiVo American Idol?
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Now she wants everything.
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You are always there for me.
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I'm so glad that I have a boyfriend like you.
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You're my rock.
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That's my job.
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-I love you.
-I love you, too.
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I love you, too, also.
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I'm sorry for your loss.
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Your family's in our prayers.
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I'll text you.
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This is fantastic!
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Dude! Her grandfather died.
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And she'll be gone for days!
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Imagine a place, Michael, a magical place,
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where a man and his beverage
can walk the streets unaccosted.
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Where drunk, hot chicks come standard,
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and delicious boobies, they grow on trees.
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You guys hear that music?
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So what's it gonna be?
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I'll go if you go.
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If I go, and you tell Erica...
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Like she'd believe a word
I said anyway. Come on.
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Well, I guess Scottie does need to get laid.
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So?
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-Let's go to Mardi Gras, boys!
-Yes!
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Sorry about that.
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So, look, guys,
I started mapping out a rough itinerary.
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I... I was thinking
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we could get tickets
to the Preservation Hall Jazz Band,
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and if we have time, I'd love to take an
afternoon and go to the bayou.
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There's this guy, Fred,
who's renting out airboats that...
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Tits!
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Wow, that hurricane
was worse than I thought!
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We've been lied to!
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This city's not thriving!
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Guys...
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Hey, Mike, thanks for paying, bud.
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-Did I have a choice?
-No. No, you didn't.
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But no worries, man.
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These things are like heroin at Mardi Gras.
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It's a strict jewels-for-boobs operation.
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You give a girl beads,
she shows you her delicious tits.
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That's not cheating, right?
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Last I checked, Mike,
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seeing boobs wasn't cheating.
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It was just plain incredible.
203
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What the hell are those?
204
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-Bush beads.
-Bush beads?
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They want these, they gotta show bush.
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What's up with you, Scottie?
You didn't buy anything.
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Oh, my God!
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Jesus Christ, what is that?
209
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It was my grandmother's.
210
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See, I don't need a suitcase full of plastic.
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Just one special necklace
for one special woman.
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Gay!
213
00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:00,439
So what's the deal, boys? Next stop, hotel?
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No. We're going straight to Bourbon Street.
Are you kidding me?
215
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These guys have been drinking for days.
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We got a lot of catching up to do, boys.
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Next stop...
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Paradise!
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Hey, is this Mardi Gras?
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I think so!
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What time does it start?
222
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I don't really know!
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It's a good thing
we got all those beads, Bump.
224
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You don't want used beads. It's classless.
225
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Show your tits!
226
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Sorry, boys.
We've just thrown a show down the street.
227
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-A show?
-I got beads!
228
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Got it, I got it, I got it, I got it!
229
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Damn it!
230
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Oh, my God!
231
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:43,879
I'm fine. Thank you for asking.
232
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Hey, listen.
233
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I wouldn't be opposed to you earning them.
234
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Hey, come on!
235
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So, how does this work?
236
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You give me these beads, I lift up my shirt,
237
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you stare at my breasts
and what, we call it a day?
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Absolutely not.
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You lift your shirt, I stare at your breasts,
240
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then I give you the beads and we call it a day.
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Wow, was I born yesterday?
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Nice try, but no.
243
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Come on, Lame Girl. Quit being so lame.
244
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Listen, dickhead.
245
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You think it's normal
for a girl to sacrifice her dignity
246
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for four cents worth of plastic?
247
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:18,439
Isn't that just a little ridiculous?
248
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If I say yes, do I get to see your tits?
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Fellows, huddle up.
250
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AII right now,
you brought me down here for a reason
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and that's to have a good time.
252
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,439
So I think the best point of attack here is to...
253
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,759
Are you peeing?
254
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,679
You just pissed on my shoe,
for Christ's sake!
255
00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:35,999
Well, I thought that that
was why we were huddling.
256
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,479
Let me get this straight.
So you won't take a shit in a public restroom,
257
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but you'll piss in the middle
of a crowded street?
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I thought that's why we were huddling.
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00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,119
Bad Scottie! No!
260
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,999
Look, the best course of action is to go
straight down Bourbon Street...
261
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,759
I found her!
262
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,879
Where's Scottie going?
263
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,079
Shit on my tits!
264
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,599
That is Carmen Electra.
265
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:59,199
Hi.
266
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,999
Oh, my God!
267
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,719
Wow, these are really beautiful.
268
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:03,959
They're real.
269
00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:05,199
So are mine.
270
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,159
You're the one.
271
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:13,719
Aren't you cute! Thank you.
272
00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,159
What the hell just happened?
273
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,519
Did you just ask
Carmen Electra to see her tits?
274
00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:18,599
That was Carmen Electra?
275
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,119
I gave her my necklace!
276
00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:21,559
Your only necklace?
277
00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:23,919
You just blew
your entire load on Carmen Electra?
278
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,119
Yeah!
279
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,399
Relax, buddy. It's gonna be all right.
280
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:28,679
At least you can say
281
00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:31,959
that you gave
Carmen Electra a pearl necklace, right?
282
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,079
I think that the best thing to do here is to
283
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,919
warm up to these girls
a little bit, to get to know them...
284
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:38,679
-What the hell are you doing?
-Nothing.
285
00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:39,879
Do you have insurance for this?
286
00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:46,880
Boobs!
287
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:51,799
I gotta admit,
it's awesome to see a strange girl's breasts.
288
00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:53,279
I'd crawl a mile on broken glass
289
00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,679
to suck the dick that fucked her last.
290
00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:59,679
Shakespeare couldn't have said it better.
291
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:00,759
That's it.
292
00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:01,839
Snuggle bear?
293
00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:05,919
That's Erica! Code blue!
294
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:12,759
Scottie, let's go!
295
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:13,839
I don't understand.
296
00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:15,999
Whoa! Guests only, folks. Need wrist bands.
297
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,079
Okay.
298
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:18,159
I just don't understand...
299
00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:19,319
-Just keep moving!
-I don't understand!
300
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:22,679
Mike, you get to see those every night?
301
00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:24,919
Why isn't she picking up her phone,
what the hell?
302
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:27,759
Hey, good extraction. Clean and effective.
303
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:28,839
It couldn�t have been her, right?
304
00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:31,959
I mean, you know,
Lots of people have a similar look.
305
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:33,079
How could she do this?
306
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:36,799
With her grandfather barely in the ground.
307
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:37,919
Right.
308
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:40,199
There's gotta be a good explanation, right?
I mean, I'm sure there is.
309
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:41,919
Yes. Erica is a lying whore.
310
00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:43,199
With an amazing rack.
311
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:44,319
Shut up!
312
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,679
We're gonna get my car, go back to our room,
313
00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:48,599
and find out exactly
what hotel she's staying at.
314
00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:51,559
That's gonna be a problem.
315
00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:54,039
Where the hell is my car?
316
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:57,239
Damn it! My bush beads were in there!
317
00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:59,159
And your car...
318
00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:00,839
Maybe we're on the wrong street?
319
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,439
No, no, no, no, we definitely parked here.
320
00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:08,879
I distinctly remember that fire hydrant.
321
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:10,599
Oh, great.
322
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,679
Three more drunk college kids.
323
00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:16,559
Actually, we're not drunk.
We just need to check in. It's under Smith.
324
00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:18,719
Well, I'm not finding anything.
325
00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:20,559
When did you make the reservations?
326
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,319
Just yesterday.
327
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,279
We have been booked solid for six months.
328
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,399
Listen, Barry,
329
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:33,719
it's spelled S-M-I-T-H.
330
00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:34,799
Nope.
331
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,479
Bump...
332
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:38,839
Tell me you didn't
drag me down here without a reservation.
333
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:41,799
Scottie, buddy, I gave you one thing to do.
334
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:44,239
Please tell me that you didn't screw that up.
335
00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:47,119
No, I swear. It's all right here, okay?
336
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:50,999
The Chateau Burgundy,
three nights, three people, room 745!
337
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,879
745? That's impossible.
338
00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:57,559
We only have three floors.
339
00:14:57,560 --> 00:15:01,199
-Well...
-Guys...
340
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:04,199
You must mean 7:45 p.m.
341
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:07,359
But feel free to confirm with the maitre d'.
342
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:09,239
You made a goddamn dinner reservation?
343
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:10,999
Okay, Mike. Obviously, you're a little upset.
344
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,079
Let me handle this, all right, buddy?
345
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:13,879
You made a goddamn dinner reservation?
346
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:16,999
Well, if you want to get technical,
I made three goddamn dinner reservations.
347
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,279
That sucks!
348
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,159
How do you think I feel?
Where am I gonna take a dump?
349
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:22,119
Where are we gonna sleep?
350
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:26,919
I'll call my cousins.
351
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:27,999
''Mailbox full.''
352
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,599
AII right, look,
let�s think about this logically, okay?
353
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:34,439
We're three kids from strong,
middleclass suburban homes,
354
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:41,440
obviously we're not gonna
end up sleeping in some random alley.
355
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,319
-Jesus!
-Morning.
356
00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:54,079
Morning, gents! How'd we all sleep?
357
00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:55,159
Where the hell were you?
358
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:57,039
I was picking up your car
and I got a cup of Joe.
359
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,999
Want a sip?
It really takes the alley right out of you.
360
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,639
Guys!
361
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:01,919
I think it's time to go.
362
00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:02,999
What?
363
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,319
I'm not having a good time,
364
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:06,079
and I'm not wading through
a million people to find Erica.
365
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,239
So let�s just
get in my car and go back to school.
366
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,519
Scottie. Buddy, come on, help me out here.
367
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,199
I don't know, this vacation kinda blows.
368
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:14,399
I see, we have a little setback
369
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:15,919
and suddenly everybody's
ready to pack it in?
370
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:18,359
It's shaping up to be
more than just a little setback, Bump.
371
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,239
Look, I will be the first
to admit that yesterday was not ideal.
372
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:23,319
Carmen Electra
robbed Scottie of a family heirloom,
373
00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:26,199
and Mike, your girlfriend
showed half of Louisiana her breasts.
374
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,079
Her wonderful, glorious breasts.
375
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:29,199
I'm done.
376
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:30,759
Mike, I know how you feel!
377
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:33,799
Because how you feel right now
is how Scottie and I feel every single day.
378
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:35,719
Well, not every day.
379
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,959
Some days. Mostly on the weekends
when people are hanging out and...
380
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,759
We brought you out here
because we needed you,
381
00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:42,199
and now you need us!
382
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:46,599
Look, I admit, at the moment things feel
pretty shitty.
383
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:49,319
But remember how we felt yesterday?
384
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:50,959
When we saw those breasts?
385
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:54,039
-You mean, Erica's breasts?
-No!
386
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:56,319
Before they were Erica's breasts!
387
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,319
When they were just the two most
388
00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:00,079
beautiful mounds
we've ever laid our eyes on.
389
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,319
Okay, can we just stop talking about
my girlfriend's breasts, please?
390
00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:03,399
Your ex-girlfriend.
391
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:06,159
I'm talking about a feeling, Mike.
392
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:09,599
A fleeting moment of Zen.
We can get that back!
393
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:10,799
We just need to work together.
394
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:12,639
Sure, we can go back to college, finish it out,
395
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,839
graduate in three months
and never know any better than this.
396
00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:16,319
There's that music again.
397
00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:18,159
What if we didn't go back?
398
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,439
What if we vow not to go back
399
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:23,759
until we made Mardi Gras
our own personal playground?
400
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:24,879
What song is that?
401
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,439
Scottie, buddy, what do you want more
than anything else in this world?
402
00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:28,879
Carmen Electra.
403
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:30,639
Let's not limit our sample size, okay?
404
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:34,279
Mike! Besides
a time machine and a shotgun,
405
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:35,799
what do you want the most?
406
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,199
Nothing? Not gonna help me? Okay.
407
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:38,599
'Cause I know what I want.
408
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,399
I wanna make my mark!
409
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:44,759
I want to rock the greatest party in the world!
410
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,439
I wanna make Mardi Gras my bitch!
411
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:49,359
Look, giving up is not an option.
412
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,359
I say we stay!
413
00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:53,679
I say we conquer!
414
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:58,039
I say, by midnight
Fat Tuesday, no matter what happens,
415
00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:01,759
we're gonna be partying on one of those
sweet-ass Bourbon Street balconies!
416
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:02,959
How the hell are we gonna do that?
417
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:04,399
Are you with me?
418
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,479
I'll do anything to stop
the fucking music, okay?
419
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:11,239
Mike, please, trust me.
I'm not gonna let you down.
420
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:12,719
I don't know, man.
421
00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:19,679
I didn't want to have to do this.
Scottie, show him.
422
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:20,759
You taped it?
423
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:21,919
I had to.
424
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:23,239
You see what she's doing there?
You see that?
425
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:25,839
She's gonna be doing that
every day, every night,
426
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:27,879
and then again, all day tomorrow.
427
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:28,959
Especially this part.
428
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:30,079
What kind of pep talk is this?
429
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:31,519
Look at that smile on her face.
430
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:33,359
She's so content, she's so happy.
431
00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:40,360
You need to have that smile.
432
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:43,439
It's 7:00 a.m.
433
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:47,399
Where can we get a goddamn drink?
434
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,399
Bottoms up!
435
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,319
You're gonna get a disease.
436
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:54,199
Yeah, it's called alcoholism,
I should be so lucky.
437
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:55,599
Bump, maybe you should slow down.
438
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,519
Maybe you should start drinking.
439
00:18:57,520 --> 00:19:04,279
That's disgusting. You're drinking garbage.
440
00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:06,879
A quarter. I'm actually making money.
441
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:07,959
You're an imbecile.
442
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:11,079
Okay, prima donnas, you got a better
idea how to get drunk at 7:00 a.m.?
443
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:14,839
I'd love to hear it.
444
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,199
Elitists!
445
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:19,119
Getting an early start, boys?
446
00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:21,159
You guys are pussies!
447
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:28,160
They wouldn�t drink the trash!
448
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,799
I think I'm gonna be sick.
449
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,599
Well, pussies, let�s get your cat up.
450
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:34,039
House drinks.
451
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,319
Got to love the Hurricane.
452
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,399
Well, on some level, exposing
453
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:39,479
the flaws and capabilities of our emergency...
454
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:42,999
Scottie! The drink!
455
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,439
You'd think they'd change the name!
456
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,439
Hey! Where you going?
457
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:47,999
Alpha dog, Mike.
458
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,319
Leader of the pack.
459
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,959
If we're gonna be the guys on the balcony,
460
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,919
we gotta show this city what's what!
461
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:59,319
I'm gonna hustle the shit out of these guys
like Paul Newman and Woody Harrelson.
462
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,359
I'm pretty sure
they were never in a movie together.
463
00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:03,759
You shitheads think you can play pool?
464
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:05,679
I'm like Harrelson, baby!
465
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:07,959
You should probably take it easy with these.
466
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:14,960
I had a rough night.
467
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:26,720
Why is this called the ''Hand Grenade''?
468
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:42,559
Hey, welcome back!
469
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:45,239
You've been out cold for two hours!
470
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,359
-Two hours?
-Yeah!
471
00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:50,359
People just left me here on the stool?
472
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:57,360
Actually, no, no, no, no. Check it out.
473
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:08,799
Oh, Jesus!
474
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:12,079
I need some air!
475
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:13,479
Hey, it's Mike!
476
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:20,480
Hey, everybody, Mike's up.
477
00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:25,639
Erica?
478
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:27,879
How's your dead grandfather doing?
479
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:29,079
Oh, my God!
480
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:32,079
Wow! That's the best
pickup line I've heard all week.
481
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:33,359
Oh, my God.
482
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:36,719
This is... I'm so...
483
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:37,999
No, no, no, don't be.
484
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:39,919
So, what? I ask you about a dead relative
485
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:41,519
and then we just totally make out?
486
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:45,999
Mike. I need to borrow 1,000 bucks.
487
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,439
I can give you $18.
488
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:48,959
Close enough!
489
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:50,279
How do you do, madam?
490
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:53,199
Well, aren't you chivalrous!
491
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:57,799
I have no idea what that means, but yes.
It's quite long and big around, too.
492
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,639
So, I'm guessing
Mike's already told you about his girlfriend?
493
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:00,839
Bump, we literally just met.
494
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:01,919
No worries.
495
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,559
I'm pretty sure
she's not his girlfriend for much longer.
496
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:06,319
She lied to him,
497
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:08,239
and showed her tits to all of New Orleans.
498
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:10,319
Hey, don't you have a game to get to?
499
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:13,479
Yeah! Got these guys right where I want 'em!
500
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:15,959
For Joe-boy and Dante!
501
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:19,599
So, I hear your girlfriend lied and showed her
tits to all of New Orleans?
502
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:21,079
Where'd you hear that?
503
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:23,199
I'm sorry. That sucks.
504
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,199
Yeah, but I was asking for it.
505
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,279
Yeah, at Christmas
I hooked up with her sister.
506
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:28,359
Wow, really?
507
00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:30,519
No! Actually I made a fruit salad.
508
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,679
And I took her nieces carolling.
509
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:34,159
Well, now it makes sense.
510
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,119
I mean, she's upset to find out you're gay.
511
00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:39,279
Yeah. Some women
just don't appreciate a good gay man.
512
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:42,079
No, they don't. They definitely don't.
513
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:43,999
But you know, it could have been worse.
514
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,919
You could've found your boyfriend in
bed with his Russian Lit TA.
515
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:48,399
So...
516
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,319
I'm not actually gay.
517
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:53,599
Yeah, I was talking
about my boyfriend, genius.
518
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:55,319
Wow, you're slow!
519
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:56,879
I kinda like that in a man.
520
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:58,679
Ouch!
521
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,879
Anyways, my friends� figure
Mardi Gras will cheer me up.
522
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,559
You know, getting drunk
and naked is the cure.
523
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:08,399
Well, in that case
my girlfriend�s definitely on the mend.
524
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:09,919
Come on, we're going.
525
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:12,359
They're dragging me to the Frat House.
526
00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:13,439
What's the Frat House?
527
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:18,519
Only the ultimate destination for incredible
bar contests and half-price beers.
528
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:20,839
Well, have a good time.
529
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:23,439
Thanks. Lucy. Mills.
530
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:25,039
-I'm... I'm...
-Mike.
531
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:32,040
Yep. I got it.
532
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:38,359
Those gentlemen
take the game of billiards very seriously.
533
00:23:38,360 --> 00:23:39,719
What happened with your chick?
534
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:41,959
I don't know. She and her friends took off.
535
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:44,199
What? You blew it!
536
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,039
You do realise that entire conversation
537
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,679
was an I-wanna-potentially-
sit-on-your-face interview, right?
538
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:49,759
Really?
539
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:50,839
Well, what're you looking at me for?
540
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:52,319
I don't have any
business being in this conversation.
541
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:54,159
Mike! You've gotta snap out of it!
542
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:57,199
If Erica's gonna show her tits to everyone
and probably blow a bunch of dudes,
543
00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:00,399
then there's no reason
for you to be turning down fine tail like that.
544
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,159
You need to have fun!
545
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:03,439
I need to shower.
546
00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:04,519
Great idea!
547
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:08,639
You guys go find a room, get changed,
go put your game faces on,
548
00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:09,719
I'll get us a bunch of chicks.
549
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:13,679
We'll meet up in an hour
and rock this town like a hurri...
550
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:15,319
Like a thunderstorm.
551
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,999
During Mardi Gras?
552
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,999
Yeah, right! Hey, Larry.
553
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,279
Now listen to what they just asked me.
554
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:29,879
Ask me again. Go on.
555
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:31,279
We were wondering...
556
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:36,079
AII right, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Let me get a straight face.
557
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,919
We were wondering...
558
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,279
No.
559
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:45,719
During Mardi Gras.
560
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:52,720
Hey, ask me again, come on.
561
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:55,159
Hey, are you the guys
that asked about the vacant room?
562
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:58,639
-Yeah.
-Yeah. Can you help us out?
563
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:05,640
That's really funny, douche bag.
564
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:24,840
Like eating fish in a barrel.
565
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:32,239
Ladies.
566
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:35,119
Let's see what we got here, huh?
567
00:25:35,120 --> 00:25:36,439
Sir, may I take your order?
568
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:39,439
Give me a Party Platter.
569
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:41,999
After all, I do like to party.
570
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:46,199
Sir, the Party Platter
is recommended for groups of six or more.
571
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,559
-Lame Girl?
-Dickhead?
572
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:51,599
What're you doing here?
573
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:54,759
So you like, live at Mardi Gras?
574
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,559
That's awesome!
575
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,879
As you can see, I've added to my collection.
576
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:02,639
If you see one that you like,
I definitely see two that I like.
577
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:04,199
Aren't you cute?
578
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:06,639
I remember my first beer, too.
579
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:08,159
I'll be right back with your order.
580
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:09,519
So!
581
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:11,999
I'm guessing three
beautiful ladies such as yourselves
582
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,999
could use someone
to show them a good time.
583
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,479
Hey, right?
584
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:16,559
Here you go.
585
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:17,639
Diet soda?
586
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:18,799
Tell you what.
587
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:20,559
If I polish
these babies off in five minutes or less,
588
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:21,679
you give me your number?
589
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:28,680
And how are either one
of those scenarios attractive to me?
590
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:39,879
They say these things are aphrodisiacs.
591
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:41,999
It's totally working, by the way.
592
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:45,999
The three of you
are giving me one hell of a giant boner.
593
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:50,799
Giant.
594
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:53,799
Wow. Still batting a thousand, Romeo.
595
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:57,159
Listen, Lame Girl, by Fat Tuesday
all the beautiful ladies in this city
596
00:26:57,160 --> 00:27:00,399
are gonna be lining up
for a piece of Bartholomew T. Brown.
597
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:04,359
Look, I say this out of compassion.
598
00:27:04,360 --> 00:27:06,079
Guys like you,
599
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:09,679
you come down here desperate for attention,
eager to overcompensate
600
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:12,519
for whatever
meagre existence you have in college.
601
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:14,479
I see it every day.
602
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:16,239
And it always ends badly.
603
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:19,119
Trust me.
604
00:27:19,120 --> 00:27:20,199
Point taken.
605
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:27,200
Challenge accepted. Game on.
606
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:37,639
Mike, I really gotta go to the bathroom.
607
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:39,759
Max just went at the last hotel.
608
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:41,119
Jesus, now you've got me doing it.
609
00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:44,759
Well, it's not Max this time, it's...
610
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:47,519
You don't have a name for your ass?
611
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:50,359
Who names their ass?
612
00:27:50,360 --> 00:27:51,959
This is the place from last night.
613
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:58,519
Well, maybe they had
a cancellation or something.
614
00:27:58,520 --> 00:27:59,599
Hey.
615
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:03,279
A little early
for your dinner reservation, gentlemen.
616
00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:04,519
We figured it was a long shot,
617
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:07,599
but we just wanted
to see if any rooms had opened up.
618
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:09,879
Let me just check.
619
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:10,959
No.
620
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,079
The baby's head is starting to crown.
621
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:16,119
Excuse me, sir, can you point me
towards your nearest bathroom?
622
00:28:16,120 --> 00:28:18,079
The bathrooms are for guests only.
623
00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:19,439
Please, it's... It's an emergency.
624
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:20,959
Then I suggest you call 91 1 .
625
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:23,439
You don't understand.
This could do irreparable damage
626
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:26,559
to my lower intestinal...
627
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:30,999
-Meet me out front in 20.
-Hey!
628
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:34,119
Get back, don't...
629
00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:35,399
Security.
630
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:36,999
One or two?
631
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:43,559
Definitely number two.
632
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:45,039
Hello. Are my eyes deceiving me
633
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:49,039
or are you two
dead ringers for the Olsen twins?
634
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:52,439
No fighting over who gets to be Mary-Kate.
635
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:54,079
How about letting me
have a sip of your drink?
636
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:57,199
Please, by all means.
637
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:58,799
Hey, Mike! Perfect timing. I was just thinking
638
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:00,559
that the four of us
should continue this conversation...
639
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:03,279
What's going on here?
640
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:04,359
We should probably just go.
641
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:05,999
No, no, no, bud. Let me handle this.
642
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:07,559
Hey, listen, pal.
643
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:08,999
You're ruining our game.
644
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,759
Can't you see my boy and I
are working these girls?
645
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:13,999
You're ''working them.''
646
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:15,119
Big time.
647
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:19,759
We're trying to, you know, do them.
648
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:23,319
Look, there's three sausages and two ovens.
649
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:24,559
You do the math, big guy.
650
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:27,279
They are 15 and 16, for God's sake!
651
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:28,639
Three days we've been here,
652
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:31,839
and you're the 100th college guy who's
tried to get in my daughters' pants!
653
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:33,999
Daughters?
654
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,399
Did it work for any of them?
655
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:38,159
I've got a good mind to check out of our
hotel and go home right now!
656
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:39,279
Daddy, no!
657
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:41,679
Your dad's right!
658
00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:44,799
This is no place for girls your age.
659
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:48,279
You don't need to deal with jerks like this
harassing your daughters all week.
660
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:49,559
And look at him, he's a slob.
661
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:51,159
If I were you,
662
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:52,279
I'd get out of here, too.
663
00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:54,839
And you! You owe this man an apology!
664
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:57,719
He is obviously a responsible parent,
665
00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:00,759
who understands that
impressionable young ladies
666
00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:07,399
should not be exposed to
what is going on here on Bourbon Street.
667
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:09,679
I'm...
668
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:11,719
Sorry?
669
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:13,199
Come on, girls, let�s go.
670
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:14,559
And thank you. Come on!
671
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:17,519
Daddy...
672
00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:18,919
What the hell was that?
673
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:25,920
Watch and learn.
674
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:42,960
We�ll need turndown service later.
Thank you.
675
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:07,239
Holy shit.
676
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:11,519
What're the odds?
677
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:15,399
Well played, Michael.
678
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:16,919
Checking out early, sir?
679
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:18,159
Not early enough.
680
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:25,160
Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
681
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:27,159
Hello?
682
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:28,559
You're never gonna
guess whose room I'm in.
683
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:30,799
-You're in someone's room?
-Yeah.
684
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:32,959
Come on, guess.
685
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:34,999
You'll never get it in a million years.
686
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:36,959
Tell me it's not Carmen Electra.
687
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:38,159
Yeah. How did you know that?
688
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:39,799
Because she just walked into the hotel.
689
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:41,799
What hotel? This hotel?
690
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:43,239
Finish up and get the hell out of there!
691
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:44,639
Done and done.
692
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:46,239
Please do come back, visit us again.
693
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:51,439
Don't count on it.
694
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:58,440
I believe you have a vacancy?
695
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:00,479
Dude, what's up?
696
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:02,399
-It won't flush.
-What?
697
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:05,479
There is a turd
the size of a Norwegian cruise ship
698
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:07,759
stranded in the toilet and it won't flush!
699
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:08,839
Okay, relax.
700
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:10,839
How am I supposed to relax?
It's Carmen Electra!
701
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:12,319
Jiggle the handle.
702
00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:13,799
Don't you think I tried that?
703
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:19,399
How are they gonna know it's yours?
Just get the hell out of there!
704
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:20,959
It's getting so hot out there!
705
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:22,599
I know!
706
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:29,600
I can't believe how far we had to walk.
707
00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:46,919
Holy Mary, Mother of Christ...
708
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:53,920
We should wash up before the next parade.
709
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:07,679
-I'm gonna go take a quick shower.
-Okay.
710
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:09,999
I think the maid used our bathroom.
711
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:17,000
Gross!
712
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:43,719
Dominique, do you have the soap?
713
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:50,720
Yeah, it's right here.
714
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:11,079
Don't use all the hot water.
I want to take a quick shower, too.
715
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:13,799
I'll try, but you know
how bad these showers are.
716
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:20,800
I'll just jump in with you.
717
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:26,639
Gee, it's hot!
718
00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:27,879
That's nice.
719
00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:29,239
Don't get my hair wet.
720
00:34:29,240 --> 00:34:30,319
Will you wash my back?
721
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:33,879
-Sure.
-Thanks.
722
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:36,959
Your hands are so soft.
723
00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:38,919
I wish I had your boobs.
724
00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:42,879
Oh, stop it. Your boobs are gorgeous!
725
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:45,639
But yours are so perky.
726
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:50,399
Thanks, but I'd kill for that ass.
727
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:57,400
Not now, Max.
728
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:14,839
I trust you had yourself
a fine time trespassing.
729
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:16,399
I am so very sorry.
730
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:18,479
If I see you again,
731
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:21,839
rest assured I will be calling the authorities.
732
00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:22,919
Okay.
733
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:26,279
Aren't you forgetting something?
734
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:28,039
That towel.
735
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:30,839
That's hotel property.
736
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:32,199
You do not want this towel.
737
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:34,119
I most certainly do.
738
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:36,279
-No, no, you do not want that towel!
-I want that towel!
739
00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:37,639
-Just give me that towel.
-You don't!
740
00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:40,919
I will have that towel, sir...
741
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:47,920
I will have the towel!
742
00:35:57,280 --> 00:36:02,279
I'll show myself out.
743
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:05,159
Well, there's no sweet-ass balcony,
744
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:08,879
but you gotta admire
the craftsmanship of the bricks.
745
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:11,279
We got showers and beds!
746
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:15,759
It's fantastic! Did Scottie call?
747
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:19,079
Are you kidding me?
748
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:23,319
God damn it!
749
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:25,079
What's wrong?
750
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:27,159
Get cleaned up, buddy boy.
751
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:29,519
We're going out.
752
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:33,599
Who are you
and what have you done with Mike?
753
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:40,600
Showtime.
754
00:36:49,240 --> 00:36:51,439
I don't even wanna know.
755
00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:52,799
Dude, get out of there.
756
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:55,359
Something in that fountain smells like shit!
757
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:57,359
Hurry up. Dry off.
758
00:36:57,360 --> 00:37:00,839
Got somewhere to be.
759
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:07,840
Did you guys shower?
760
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:14,959
Okay, people,
we're about to start another contest.
761
00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:17,439
Win passes to the hottest party in town!
762
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:20,559
All teams to the stage. It's the Maxim Party!
763
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:21,879
You don't wanna miss this.
764
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:24,519
We don't want to miss this!
765
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:26,279
It only happens once a year,
766
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:28,719
and this is your chance
to get in on the action!
767
00:37:28,720 --> 00:37:32,719
This is gonna be the biggest party ever
with all the hottest guys and girls.
768
00:37:32,720 --> 00:37:34,279
You don't wanna
go home and tell your friends
769
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:36,359
that you didn't have
a kick-ass Mardi Gras, do you?
770
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:39,479
Don't miss this opportunity
to party like a rock star
771
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:42,639
at the most exclusive event in the city.
772
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:44,119
It's the Maxim Party!
773
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:47,239
All teams sign up
with Zane at the front of the stage!
774
00:37:47,240 --> 00:37:49,719
Hey, sailor,
what brings you to the ultimate destination
775
00:37:49,720 --> 00:37:51,799
for incredible bar contests?
776
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:53,159
And half-price beers.
777
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,359
Actually, I'm looking for
the girl I've been stalking.
778
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:56,559
She said she'd be here.
779
00:37:56,560 --> 00:37:58,959
Well, maybe you can
buy me a drink till she shows up.
780
00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:02,359
Can't talk. Max has gotta pee. Hi.
781
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:03,439
So that's Scottie.
782
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:05,999
-Who is Max?
-It's his penis.
783
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:08,039
What, you and your friends
don't refer to your...
784
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:09,359
Vaginas.
785
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:10,559
Mike, it's cool!
786
00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:12,759
AII women name their vaginas.
It's endearing.
787
00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:13,879
Really?
788
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:15,319
No! It's creepy and weird.
789
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:17,319
Why would we do that?
790
00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:20,399
Who can drink more beer than me?
791
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:21,519
No one!
792
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:24,679
Who's more amazing at life than I am?
793
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:27,519
No one!
794
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:30,319
Hey, Mike!
795
00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:32,159
We've been friends since ninth grade.
796
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:33,839
Really? That's great.
797
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:34,919
Yeah.
798
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:36,319
You know, good friends are hard to come by.
799
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:40,079
Apparently they're also
creepy, weird, and really loud.
800
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:41,399
What'll it be, guys?
801
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:42,479
Two of your largest, bluest
802
00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:46,159
and most ridiculous
umbrella-laden drinks, preferably on fire.
803
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:47,319
How did you know my drink?
804
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:49,119
Everybody loves the Flaming Lucy.
805
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:50,439
Bump did something stupid.
806
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:51,599
And that would surprise me because...
807
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:53,519
All right, one last entry!
808
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:55,719
Please welcome to the stage
809
00:38:55,720 --> 00:39:00,639
Bump, Scottie, and Mike!
810
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:03,079
Come on! Maxim Party!
811
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:05,719
All the hot girls for Mardi Gras
are gonna be there.
812
00:39:05,720 --> 00:39:08,199
Remember. Free drinks, hot music
813
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:12,359
and, of course,
the special guest host is Carmen Electra!
814
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:15,279
We're doing this! We're doing this! Let's go!
815
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:17,479
Well?
816
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:19,719
I don't really do this sort of thing.
817
00:39:19,720 --> 00:39:23,159
You know, I'm really
more the safe guy than the crazy guy.
818
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:27,239
Well, that's too bad,
'cause the girls and I are going to that party.
819
00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:28,959
But, no, you play it safe. That sounds fun.
820
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:35,960
Check out yesterday's winner
for a preview of the action.
821
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:45,279
Lucy.
822
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:46,559
Meet Erica.
823
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:50,039
Erica, Lucy.
824
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:52,519
Looks like I have a contest to win.
825
00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:55,599
Yeah, Mike!
826
00:39:55,600 --> 00:40:02,600
Let the Wet T-shirt Olympics begin!
827
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:06,439
I'm feeling sexy now!
828
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:08,439
All right, neck to neck.
829
00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:11,559
If you drop the orange, you're out!
830
00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:14,039
Go!
831
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:18,279
To your right. No, to your other right.
832
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:21,319
Something still smells like shit.
833
00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:28,320
Now it's getting hot.
834
00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:33,199
We have a drop.
835
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:36,359
Sorry, ladies.
836
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:41,119
Yeah!
837
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:43,119
Sorry, ladies.
838
00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:48,759
Three teams left. On to round two.
839
00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:53,439
Show us your tits, show us your tits...
840
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:56,119
Now we are partying!
841
00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:57,959
I don't wanna show 'em my tits.
842
00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:00,319
Relax. Now,
when we're passing the orange next time...
843
00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:02,759
Bring out the cherries!
844
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:03,959
This is gonna be bad.
845
00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:05,439
Mouth to mouth!
846
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:07,119
Slowest team walks.
847
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:10,599
Go!
848
00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:13,359
Well, the girls are off to an early lead.
849
00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:15,559
Our guys seem to be lagging behind.
850
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:17,559
Thank God!
851
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:19,199
The guys are going for it.
852
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:22,119
Grab it! Suck it out of my goddamn mouth.
853
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:23,879
Come on, girls, please don't let us down.
854
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:27,479
We need you!
855
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:31,439
Oh, Jesus!
856
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:33,559
We have a drop. Great!
857
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:35,879
Another team of girls eliminated.
858
00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:42,880
God bless America!
859
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:53,359
Oh, come on!
860
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:59,399
Two teams left. Three beautiful ladies...
861
00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:02,999
And three stupid losers who
are ruining this for everyone.
862
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:06,519
Don't you listen to that glorified carnie.
We got this in the bag!
863
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:08,679
You know this is gonna be a great party!
864
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:11,679
VIP entry. Bottomless drinks.
865
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:16,399
Speaking of bottomless,
I think it's time to take it up a notch!
866
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:18,959
I told you this was gonna be hot, didn't I?
867
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:21,519
Now this is more like it!
868
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:24,239
What kind of misogynist contest is this?
869
00:42:24,240 --> 00:42:25,559
Look, there's no shame in quitting.
870
00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:27,199
Eat me, douche bag!
871
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:29,319
We're gonna be champions of the world!
872
00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:30,759
Scottie, take off your pants.
873
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:32,879
-Oh, no.
-Look!
874
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:34,999
There are more of those at the party.
875
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:36,679
And Carmen's gonna be there!
876
00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:43,680
Okay, I'm in!
877
00:42:47,240 --> 00:42:50,839
You know, you're allowed
to switch to boxers when you turn 13.
878
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:53,239
-I hate you.
-I know you do, old friend.
879
00:42:53,240 --> 00:42:55,199
Come on, Mike, take it off!
880
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:58,199
Don't worry, hope isn't lost yet.
881
00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:00,239
Bring it on!
882
00:43:00,240 --> 00:43:03,079
Let's show the girls
how much we love them.
883
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:06,679
Zane, bring out the bananas!
884
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:07,759
Bananas?
885
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:08,839
I don't mind being a virgin.
886
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:10,439
Shut up. It can't be that bad.
887
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:13,359
You're gonna pass it from here to here,
888
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:15,199
and end up here.
889
00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:17,799
And of course, no hands allowed.
890
00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:19,679
Okay. It's completely horrible.
891
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:26,119
Fastest team gets the passes. Go!
892
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:28,039
This is more like it!
893
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:32,999
Damn, that's hot.
894
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:40,000
Okay, boys.
895
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:42,319
AII right,
we are winning this goddamn contest!
896
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:44,559
All right, the girls are way ahead.
897
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:46,559
AII right, Bump.
898
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:50,759
Do me quick and professional.
899
00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:52,359
Wait, you guys are actually going for it?
900
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:53,439
Oh, Jesus!
901
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:54,799
Okay, please watch it.
902
00:43:54,800 --> 00:44:01,159
No!
903
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,439
Scottie! Turn around and take it like a man.
904
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:06,879
-I quit!
-Get him, Mike!
905
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:09,799
Come on, girls, faster! Get in there!
906
00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:13,279
Oh, my God, no! Please! Can't we... No, no...
907
00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:18,639
Close your eyes. It'll go faster.
908
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:20,639
I love you, buddy.
909
00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:21,719
No!
910
00:44:21,720 --> 00:44:24,039
Yes!
911
00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:25,759
Congratulations to our winners.
912
00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:29,399
Thank you.
913
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:31,239
More sausage for the party.
914
00:44:31,240 --> 00:44:32,879
Way to go, crazy man.
915
00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:34,279
So I guess I'll see you tonight?
916
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:40,679
Count on it.
917
00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:42,519
This party better be amazing.
918
00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:53,919
Back of the line, boys.
919
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:59,679
Stop right there.
We're VIPs. We're on the list.
920
00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:04,039
Everyone over there's on the list.
921
00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:06,759
About how long
do you expect we'll be waiting in line?
922
00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:09,479
I think you know the answer to that.
923
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:10,559
-Have fun.
-What the hell,
924
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:13,319
you just let in those guys with the chicks.
925
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:14,439
Chicks.
926
00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:17,239
What do you mean? We've got chicks.
They're in there.
927
00:45:17,240 --> 00:45:22,119
I know. ''Everyone's got chicks in there.''
928
00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:24,599
I took a banana up my ass.
929
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:28,759
Step aside, guys. You're not gettin'
in without girls and costumes.
930
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:31,079
Okay, new plan.
931
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:32,279
We head back to Bourbon Street,
932
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:34,959
and don't stop drinking
until somebody vomits all over Scottie.
933
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:36,559
-Who's in?
-I took a banana up my ass!
934
00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:39,039
Guys! Guys, guys!
935
00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:41,399
We're goin' to this party. I'm seeing Lucy.
936
00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:43,999
We're not gonna sit around
some crappy bar, drinking cheap beer,
937
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:45,679
pretending like everything's perfect.
AII right?
938
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:48,839
-That's not why we came down...
-Did you hear that?
939
00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:51,759
I think Mike's balls just dropped!
940
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:54,439
Listen, while I appreciate your enthusiasm,
941
00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:55,839
that line's not moving.
942
00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:59,559
Plus, you heard the man. We're not getting in
there unless we've got some tail.
943
00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:01,239
Well, I got an idea.
944
00:46:01,240 --> 00:46:03,079
So what do these
cousins of yours look like?
945
00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:04,679
What? You're picky all of a sudden?
946
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:06,119
But yeah, are they hot?
947
00:46:06,120 --> 00:46:07,439
Well, I haven't seen them since they were 10,
948
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:10,439
but from what I remember,
hopefully they've improved.
949
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:12,559
Well, this sounds lovely.
950
00:46:12,560 --> 00:46:14,839
I don't care how they look,
they're still my family.
951
00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:19,239
You treat them right.
952
00:46:19,240 --> 00:46:25,679
Cousin Michael?
953
00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:27,919
I'm gonna make a large
donation to a charity of your choosing
954
00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:29,519
if you just let me suck on one...
955
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:32,919
Janice, Cousin Mike is here!
956
00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:34,679
Cousin Mike!
957
00:46:34,680 --> 00:46:37,319
It's been so long!
958
00:46:37,320 --> 00:46:38,839
Wow!
959
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:41,319
Twins? He didn't say they were twins.
960
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:42,759
Twins are always hot. Always.
961
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:45,559
I think Mike's family�s
a little closer than most, right?
962
00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:47,079
They're pretty close. It's...
963
00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:48,839
Okay... That's enough.
964
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:50,239
So...
965
00:46:50,240 --> 00:46:52,479
These are my friends, Bump and Scottie.
966
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:53,559
Hi.
967
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:55,679
Need a place to crash?
You could share my bed.
968
00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:56,759
Or my bed.
969
00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:59,959
It's just a little small,
but we could squeeze together.
970
00:46:59,960 --> 00:47:01,959
Actually, what we were
talkin' about was maybe
971
00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:03,239
hittin' up this costume party later tonight,
972
00:47:03,240 --> 00:47:04,719
and I didn't know
what you were up to tonight...
973
00:47:04,720 --> 00:47:06,119
We'd love to go!
974
00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:07,999
Let's get some costumes.
975
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:09,839
Great!
976
00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:11,039
Jackpot!
977
00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:14,559
These are gonna be so crazy.
978
00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:17,719
These... And you're gonna get
the same exact one as me.
979
00:47:17,720 --> 00:47:20,839
Normally, I'd be disgusted
by the idea of incest.
980
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:23,719
But quite honestly,
if you don't bang the shit out of those two,
981
00:47:23,720 --> 00:47:26,239
I'm gonna punch you right in your face.
982
00:47:26,240 --> 00:47:28,439
-They're my cousins.
-I don't care!
983
00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:29,519
We're right next to Mississippi.
984
00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:32,039
If we don't get any traffic,
I'll have you there in an hour,
985
00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:33,759
and you�ll be married
to one of them by midnight.
986
00:47:33,760 --> 00:47:38,599
I need to borrow you.
987
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:41,599
I hate you.
988
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:42,879
Oh, God!
989
00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:44,319
-What?
-What're you doing?
990
00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:47,199
We need a family member's perspective.
991
00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:49,119
Yeah, what do you think?
992
00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:54,439
You are both beautiful.
993
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:57,279
We want your opinion on our costumes!
994
00:47:57,280 --> 00:47:59,359
We want to make sure
our outfits are appropriate.
995
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:01,839
You both look, you both look very good.
996
00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:03,279
Does my butt look okay in this?
997
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:04,479
I gotta go.
998
00:48:04,480 --> 00:48:05,679
But you just came.
999
00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:10,199
Almost.
1000
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:12,599
'Sup?
1001
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:13,919
What the hell are you supposed to be?
1002
00:48:13,920 --> 00:48:16,479
A giant hotdog.
What the hell does it look like?
1003
00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:18,799
The classy, genteel
Southern Plantation Owner.
1004
00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:19,879
You look ridiculous.
1005
00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:21,439
Thanks, I appreciate that. Unfortunately,
1006
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:23,359
this store only had
one costume left in my size.
1007
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:28,199
So, considering what my options are,
I think I look quite dignified.
1008
00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:30,679
Jesus, Scottie,
what the hell is taking you so long?
1009
00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:31,759
Just pick one, already.
1010
00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:34,519
This is really important. The right
costume could get me to second base.
1011
00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:36,999
Wrong costume... It could be deadly.
1012
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:38,559
Well, there's obviously no contest.
1013
00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:40,959
-Get the Smurf.
-Smurf?
1014
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:42,719
Really, I was kind of thinkin' Cowboy.
1015
00:48:42,720 --> 00:48:44,839
Scottie, Smurfs are awesome.
1016
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:47,359
They're cuddly,
they're there for you on a rainy day.
1017
00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:49,879
What about that suggests
that you won't get any?
1018
00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:51,719
Everything?
1019
00:48:51,720 --> 00:48:54,679
You know what, I'm goin' Cowboy.
Cowboys are rough and rugged.
1020
00:48:54,680 --> 00:48:58,519
Okay, this costume says, ''Watch out, ladies,
I deal with horses and Indians.''
1021
00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:01,839
Yeah. It also says, ''If left alone on a
snowy mountaintop in a pup tent,
1022
00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:03,719
''I might do a dude.''
1023
00:49:03,720 --> 00:49:04,799
What?
1024
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:07,479
Cowboys are gay!
1025
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:09,959
-When did that happen?
-Are you serious?
1026
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:13,119
Scottie, do you remember when New Kids on
the Block was cool for like a week,
1027
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:16,599
and then it became totally, utterly gay?
1028
00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:18,039
Not really.
1029
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:21,799
Same thing's happening here.
Cowboys jumped the gay shark.
1030
00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:24,159
You know, Bump?
I'm gettin' the Cowboy, all right?
1031
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:26,799
Okay. Well, we�ll swing by a drugstore,
pick you up some body spray,
1032
00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:28,399
and a pack of ass condoms.
1033
00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:47,359
I wonder if Erica called.
1034
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:50,279
Oh, my gosh! I am so stupid.
1035
00:49:50,280 --> 00:49:51,959
What?
1036
00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:53,399
I forgot to put my panties back on.
1037
00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:54,639
-Janice...
-I know.
1038
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:59,279
I am such a scatterbrain!
1039
00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:06,280
I think your phone's poking me.
1040
00:50:11,720 --> 00:50:15,479
Sorry about that.
1041
00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:16,599
You gotta be kidding me.
1042
00:50:16,600 --> 00:50:23,600
Wait for it...
1043
00:50:23,720 --> 00:50:28,759
Have fun.
1044
00:50:28,760 --> 00:50:30,439
What... You said that if I brought...
1045
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:31,759
Two girls, two guys.
1046
00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:33,919
No. Guys?
1047
00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:40,920
Guys!
1048
00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:01,439
Don't say anything!
1049
00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:03,039
Hey, where's Bump?
1050
00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:05,039
Must be getting drinks.
1051
00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:08,439
Mikey, we wanna dance.
1052
00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:12,879
I'll...
1053
00:51:12,880 --> 00:51:15,199
Hey, thought that was you guys.
1054
00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:18,999
So, listen, I sort of
have this arrangement with the bouncer,
1055
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:20,959
he's a good friend of mine from the gym.
1056
00:51:20,960 --> 00:51:26,039
Anyway, I was wondering, how would you
lovely ladies like to cut the line?
1057
00:51:26,040 --> 00:51:28,799
-Yeah. Yeah, sure.
-Yeah, sure, great.
1058
00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:32,279
Yes. Awesome stuff.
1059
00:51:32,280 --> 00:51:35,239
So, I wasn't sure
if you'd recognise me in this outfit.
1060
00:51:35,240 --> 00:51:39,999
We had that moment at the oyster place.
1061
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:41,599
You four together?
1062
00:51:41,600 --> 00:51:44,239
Not him.
1063
00:51:44,240 --> 00:51:47,079
So that's how it is? Fine!
1064
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:51,159
I hope you have a good time at the party.
I don't wanna go anyway.
1065
00:51:51,160 --> 00:51:58,160
'Sup, ladies?
1066
00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:11,759
Hey, Carmen, it's me!
1067
00:52:11,760 --> 00:52:15,679
Hey, Carmen! It's me, too!
1068
00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:19,599
We don't need her, bro.
She's not that hot, anyway.
1069
00:52:19,600 --> 00:52:22,519
This one?
1070
00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:25,439
I didn't mean it. She's hot as shit.
1071
00:52:25,440 --> 00:52:32,440
Miss Electra
requests your company in the VIP room.
1072
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:49,959
Lucy!
1073
00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:56,479
Mikey, come back!
1074
00:52:56,480 --> 00:52:57,799
Hey!
1075
00:52:57,800 --> 00:53:00,279
I thought that was you
dancing with the hotties.
1076
00:53:00,280 --> 00:53:02,479
Those are just my cousins.
1077
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:05,039
AII right. You got a lot of weird
shit goin' on, don't you?
1078
00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:12,040
You don't know the half of it.
1079
00:53:13,880 --> 00:53:16,439
Dance with me?
1080
00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:23,440
Okay.
1081
00:53:31,120 --> 00:53:38,120
I'm beginning to thank Bump
for draggin' me down here.
1082
00:53:48,360 --> 00:53:51,839
-Hey, come here.
-No!
1083
00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:54,679
Don't come back!
1084
00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:57,599
I'm prepared to
make a civil rights issue out of this!
1085
00:53:57,600 --> 00:54:00,559
Dudes are people, too.
1086
00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:02,599
Hey!
1087
00:54:02,600 --> 00:54:05,599
Say, great costume.
1088
00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:08,639
Thanks. I like your whole
Colonel Sanders thing.
1089
00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:13,159
I have a brilliant idea, and 100 bucks.
1090
00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:20,160
Excuse me?
1091
00:54:21,880 --> 00:54:22,959
Hold on a minute.
1092
00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:26,639
It's okay. My girls are already inside.
I'm the anchor.
1093
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:27,839
-The anchor?
-You know,
1094
00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:29,559
the chick some asshole's gotta bone
1095
00:54:29,560 --> 00:54:34,759
so his boy can do her hot friend. C'est la vie.
1096
00:54:34,760 --> 00:54:36,759
Dude, go home.
1097
00:54:36,760 --> 00:54:38,919
Look who it is, the big winner!
1098
00:54:38,920 --> 00:54:43,479
What're you supposed to be, a douche bag?
1099
00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:45,959
I was gonna put a cock
in my mouth and go as your mom.
1100
00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:47,999
Let's do the Sprinkler.
1101
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:49,959
Ready?
1102
00:54:49,960 --> 00:54:52,799
AII right. AII right, I can get behind that.
1103
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:57,759
AII right.
1104
00:54:57,760 --> 00:54:59,439
-What is this?
-Shopping cart.
1105
00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:06,440
Shopping cart!
1106
00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:10,759
So I told Harrison Ford,
''Don't you talk to me like that, Harrison Ford!
1107
00:55:10,760 --> 00:55:12,399
''Do you know who you're talking to?''
1108
00:55:12,400 --> 00:55:14,239
But he's a doll.
1109
00:55:14,240 --> 00:55:16,799
So what does a stylist do, anyway?
1110
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:19,399
What doesn't a stylist do?
1111
00:55:19,400 --> 00:55:22,959
Pick out makeup, hair, shoes, clothes.
1112
00:55:22,960 --> 00:55:25,599
By the way, I love your little outfit.
1113
00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:29,279
Giddy up.
1114
00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:30,799
Oh, here! Have more champagne.
1115
00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:32,039
I'm... I'm good.
1116
00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:33,439
I did, one, two, three, four...
1117
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:37,639
-And then, five...
-Don't be a pussy.
1118
00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:41,199
Can I borrow your friend for a second?
1119
00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:42,839
Hi.
1120
00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:44,519
You havin' a good time?
1121
00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:46,959
-Yeah.
-Listen, I have a confession to make.
1122
00:55:46,960 --> 00:55:49,559
I lost your necklace.
1123
00:55:49,560 --> 00:55:50,639
I found it.
1124
00:55:50,640 --> 00:55:51,759
What are the odds? That's...
1125
00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:55,199
That's what I said!
1126
00:55:55,200 --> 00:55:56,799
It must be fate.
1127
00:55:56,800 --> 00:55:58,759
I have to go
make an appearance on the dance floor...
1128
00:55:58,760 --> 00:56:01,319
You know anyone that might be interested...
1129
00:56:01,320 --> 00:56:08,320
Then let�s go.
1130
00:56:13,200 --> 00:56:16,279
This is one of the best
parties I've ever been to.
1131
00:56:16,280 --> 00:56:23,280
Yeah. It's pretty cool.
1132
00:56:25,640 --> 00:56:27,999
Mike?
1133
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:30,039
-What're you doing here?
-Me?
1134
00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:32,639
Is your grandfather
feeling better all of a sudden?
1135
00:56:32,640 --> 00:56:33,719
Mike, maybe I should just...
1136
00:56:33,720 --> 00:56:35,519
No, one second, Lucy.
1137
00:56:35,520 --> 00:56:37,799
I sent your family flowers.
1138
00:56:37,800 --> 00:56:41,159
And the next thing I know,
you're flashing all of Mardi Gras!
1139
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:45,239
Okay! Okay, you're right. AII right, I lied.
1140
00:56:45,240 --> 00:56:47,119
I'm sorry.
I just didn't think you'd understand.
1141
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:49,119
What wouldn�t I understand?
1142
00:56:49,120 --> 00:56:52,319
It's our senior year.
I mean, all the girls were coming down here...
1143
00:56:52,320 --> 00:56:56,479
It's my last chance to blow off some steam.
1144
00:56:56,480 --> 00:56:58,039
So that's what this is about.
1145
00:56:58,040 --> 00:56:59,719
Your friends drag you down here...
1146
00:56:59,720 --> 00:57:02,879
You see me flash a couple of guys,
and now, you're pissed.
1147
00:57:02,880 --> 00:57:05,919
So, you kiss this girl to get back at me.
1148
00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:09,119
Come on. That's not my Mike.
1149
00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:12,799
Well, maybe you don't know the real Mike.
1150
00:57:12,800 --> 00:57:17,039
Oh, yes, I do.
1151
00:57:17,040 --> 00:57:22,159
Goodbye, Mike.
1152
00:57:22,160 --> 00:57:26,719
Let's go back home, and everything will go
back to the way it was before.
1153
00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:28,719
If we hurry, we can still catch Idol.
1154
00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:29,999
Whoa, wait a minute.
1155
00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:31,239
I don't wanna watch Idol.
1156
00:57:31,240 --> 00:57:33,679
Okay. Well, we can watch
something else then.
1157
00:57:33,680 --> 00:57:35,439
I don't wanna watch something else.
1158
00:57:35,440 --> 00:57:37,439
I don't wanna do any of that any more.
1159
00:57:37,440 --> 00:57:40,599
I wanna be right here, at this party.
1160
00:57:40,600 --> 00:57:43,919
Because this is me, Erica.
1161
00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:45,599
What are you saying?
1162
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:50,039
It's over.
1163
00:57:50,040 --> 00:57:54,399
What're you gonna do?
Run to your little slut?
1164
00:57:54,400 --> 00:58:00,599
If I wanted a slut, I'd stay here with you.
1165
00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:03,959
What?
1166
00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:05,279
Lucy! Wait.
1167
00:58:05,280 --> 00:58:07,519
Look, you don't need to explain, I get it.
1168
00:58:07,520 --> 00:58:08,959
We all have our roles, Mike.
1169
00:58:08,960 --> 00:58:11,359
-And that's your girlfriend.
-Lucy...
1170
00:58:11,360 --> 00:58:12,919
I'm just a girl you've known for 24 hours.
1171
00:58:12,920 --> 00:58:19,559
Lucy, I'm sorry, you... You don't understand.
1172
00:58:19,560 --> 00:58:21,759
Have fun at the party?
1173
00:58:21,760 --> 00:58:24,599
Where the hell have you been?
1174
00:58:24,600 --> 00:58:27,159
Funny you should mention that.
1175
00:58:27,160 --> 00:58:30,759
Right out here where you left me.
Thank you so much!
1176
00:58:30,760 --> 00:58:33,799
I was worried
I might actually partake in my own plans.
1177
00:58:33,800 --> 00:58:35,799
Well, I'm sorry, all right?
1178
00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:37,039
I got bigger problems to deal with.
1179
00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:39,239
Bigger problems
than leaving your best friend behind?
1180
00:58:39,240 --> 00:58:41,359
Well, my best friend
would have listened to me
1181
00:58:41,360 --> 00:58:43,799
when I said I wanted to go back to school.
1182
00:58:43,800 --> 00:58:47,359
Whoa, wow!
Are we really back on that again?
1183
00:58:47,360 --> 00:58:51,759
Look! If you weren't here,
Erica still would've shown her fun bags,
1184
00:58:51,760 --> 00:58:54,719
and you'd still be kissing
the ground that she walks on!
1185
00:58:54,720 --> 00:58:56,319
Nothing has changed.
1186
00:58:56,320 --> 00:58:58,239
Well, maybe ignorance is bliss.
1187
00:58:58,240 --> 00:59:02,039
You can't possibly believe that shit!
1188
00:59:02,040 --> 00:59:04,999
You know, Mike, in some messed-up way,
1189
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:08,679
this is the best weekend of your life,
and you have me to thank for it.
1190
00:59:08,680 --> 00:59:11,319
Well, thank you, Bump.
1191
00:59:11,320 --> 00:59:18,320
Thank you for being
the obnoxious novelty act that you are.
1192
00:59:21,160 --> 00:59:25,999
Okay, Mike. Good luck.
1193
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:33,000
Somewhere in this city,
there are people worthy of my friendship.
1194
00:59:37,440 --> 00:59:44,440
Where the hell is Scottie?
1195
01:00:11,520 --> 01:00:18,520
You're my only friend, beignet.
It's just you and me.
1196
01:00:25,400 --> 01:00:30,879
Sorry, we're closed.
1197
01:00:30,880 --> 01:00:32,359
Oh, baby.
1198
01:00:32,360 --> 01:00:37,159
This is not a good look.
You know, that dress makes you look fat.
1199
01:00:37,160 --> 01:00:40,079
I'm gonna ask you something, Lame Girl.
1200
01:00:40,080 --> 01:00:44,079
Would you say I'm a novelty act?
1201
01:00:44,080 --> 01:00:46,959
Ask me that again.
1202
01:00:46,960 --> 01:00:52,639
I'm sorry, were you fishing for sympathy?
1203
01:00:52,640 --> 01:00:53,719
Okay.
1204
01:00:53,720 --> 01:00:56,799
I'm probably gonna regret asking, but...
1205
01:00:56,800 --> 01:00:58,639
What's wrong?
1206
01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:01,599
I just try to show everyone
a good time, you know?
1207
01:01:01,600 --> 01:01:04,119
Is one awesome weekend too much to ask?
1208
01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:07,079
You know, if you'd been nicer to me,
I'd be more inclined to help your cause.
1209
01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:11,079
I have been nothing
but nice to you since the moment we met!
1210
01:01:11,080 --> 01:01:15,799
You call me Lame Girl!
1211
01:01:15,800 --> 01:01:21,239
Okay.
1212
01:01:21,240 --> 01:01:23,999
You...
1213
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:31,000
You have nice eyes, Ann Marie.
1214
01:01:33,480 --> 01:01:37,199
Tonight, you're off duty. I'm in charge.
1215
01:01:37,200 --> 01:01:40,959
It's time you saw the real Mardi Gras.
1216
01:01:40,960 --> 01:01:47,960
Put on a clean shirt.
1217
01:01:57,520 --> 01:01:59,479
See? Isn't this great?
1218
01:01:59,480 --> 01:02:02,159
Yeah. Yeah, it's... It's great!
1219
01:02:02,160 --> 01:02:04,479
When are we going back to Mardi Gras?
1220
01:02:04,480 --> 01:02:07,519
Bump, this is Mardi Gras!
1221
01:02:07,520 --> 01:02:09,759
Look, you see that man leadin' the band?
1222
01:02:09,760 --> 01:02:13,439
He's been doin' this for almost 40 years!
1223
01:02:13,440 --> 01:02:15,839
Mardi Gras is not Girls Gone Wild.
1224
01:02:15,840 --> 01:02:17,759
It's not just tits and beads.
1225
01:02:17,760 --> 01:02:20,999
It's about family, tradition.
1226
01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:28,000
Come on, show me what you got!
1227
01:02:31,680 --> 01:02:35,239
Right. Too soon.
1228
01:02:35,240 --> 01:02:38,879
Hi. May I speak with
the hotel operator, please?
1229
01:02:38,880 --> 01:02:40,639
Thank you.
1230
01:02:40,640 --> 01:02:43,999
This is Mike Morgan.
I'm inquiring about a guest.
1231
01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:49,759
I was wondering
if you have a Lucy Mills staying there.
1232
01:02:49,760 --> 01:02:51,919
No?
1233
01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:54,519
AII right. Thank you.
1234
01:02:54,520 --> 01:02:57,559
Mills. Mills!
1235
01:02:57,560 --> 01:02:59,159
Lucy Mills!
1236
01:02:59,160 --> 01:03:00,799
My tone?
1237
01:03:00,800 --> 01:03:03,039
You've got a problem with my tone?
1238
01:03:03,040 --> 01:03:06,319
Well, my tone has a problem
with your... Hello?
1239
01:03:06,320 --> 01:03:08,959
Hi, this is Lucy Mills.
1240
01:03:08,960 --> 01:03:12,599
I'm trying to track down Mike Morgan.
1241
01:03:12,600 --> 01:03:15,639
Thank you.
1242
01:03:15,640 --> 01:03:21,919
Will you please hold on a moment?
I am actually... I'm getting another call.
1243
01:03:21,920 --> 01:03:24,079
-Hello?
-Hello?
1244
01:03:24,080 --> 01:03:26,679
-Hello? Hello...
-Hello? Hello.
1245
01:03:26,680 --> 01:03:29,879
Hello...
1246
01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:34,239
I am not the one causing
the problem here, sir.
1247
01:03:34,240 --> 01:03:36,279
And frankly, I don't think this is any way
1248
01:03:36,280 --> 01:03:37,359
for you to conduct your business.
1249
01:03:37,360 --> 01:03:44,360
So, I would like you
to please patch me into your supervisor.
1250
01:04:03,480 --> 01:04:10,359
Where am I?
1251
01:04:10,360 --> 01:04:12,119
Carmen!
1252
01:04:12,120 --> 01:04:18,879
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
1253
01:04:18,880 --> 01:04:22,839
Yes!
1254
01:04:22,840 --> 01:04:26,119
Max, you did it.
1255
01:04:26,120 --> 01:04:29,199
Good morning, my angel!
1256
01:04:29,200 --> 01:04:36,200
It may be a good morning,
but it was a great evening, sweetie.
1257
01:04:45,440 --> 01:04:47,639
I can't believe you're even awake!
1258
01:04:47,640 --> 01:04:52,719
After that performance,
you deserve to sleep for a week!
1259
01:04:52,720 --> 01:04:55,639
Now...
1260
01:04:55,640 --> 01:04:57,799
You've gotta eat at least some of this.
1261
01:04:57,800 --> 01:05:00,039
You need to build up your strength.
1262
01:05:00,040 --> 01:05:03,999
Someone was quite the tiger, hmm?
1263
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:05,599
I don't remember anything.
1264
01:05:05,600 --> 01:05:10,759
So you don't remember Security calling
because of all the noise you were making?
1265
01:05:10,760 --> 01:05:12,079
Noise?
1266
01:05:12,080 --> 01:05:15,319
They said
it sounded like the Fourth of July in here.
1267
01:05:15,320 --> 01:05:20,759
I don't... I'm feeling queasy.
1268
01:05:20,760 --> 01:05:22,439
Juice?
1269
01:05:22,440 --> 01:05:29,440
Max, you're gay?
1270
01:05:39,600 --> 01:05:46,079
-Thank you.
-Sir.
1271
01:05:46,080 --> 01:05:47,279
-Bump, you know, I didn't...
-Me, too.
1272
01:05:47,280 --> 01:05:49,479
Okay, let�s not do the whole thing.
I rule, you rule.
1273
01:05:49,480 --> 01:05:52,839
You're not an asshole, I have
overcompensation issues et cetera, et cetera.
1274
01:05:52,840 --> 01:05:53,919
Okay.
1275
01:05:53,920 --> 01:05:55,519
Rough night?
1276
01:05:55,520 --> 01:05:58,319
I was a moron.
And I gotta make things right with Lucy.
1277
01:05:58,320 --> 01:06:01,239
Broad story, I'd offer to help you out,
1278
01:06:01,240 --> 01:06:03,519
but my vagina's in the shop.
1279
01:06:03,520 --> 01:06:05,639
Truffle? They're really fabulous.
1280
01:06:05,640 --> 01:06:09,239
No, thank you.
1281
01:06:09,240 --> 01:06:14,719
So I hung out with this chick last night,
and she's pretty lame, but I don't know...
1282
01:06:14,720 --> 01:06:15,879
There's something about her.
1283
01:06:15,880 --> 01:06:18,199
Do I sense feelings from Bump?
1284
01:06:18,200 --> 01:06:19,319
Let's not go overboard.
1285
01:06:19,320 --> 01:06:21,359
I'm definitely capable
of getting a hotter chick.
1286
01:06:21,360 --> 01:06:22,559
I mean, don't get me wrong,
1287
01:06:22,560 --> 01:06:26,159
she's probably like a six-and-a-half,
maybe a seven on a good day.
1288
01:06:26,160 --> 01:06:28,359
She's a little old,
but I figure she's got a couple of years
1289
01:06:28,360 --> 01:06:30,439
before she hits the wall.
1290
01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:32,159
Gonna introduce me?
1291
01:06:32,160 --> 01:06:36,199
You are lucky
I even give you the time of day, fat boy.
1292
01:06:36,200 --> 01:06:38,919
Ann Marie. Charmed.
1293
01:06:38,920 --> 01:06:42,919
See that? Kind of lame,
but kind of somethin'.
1294
01:06:42,920 --> 01:06:44,679
-Scottie!
-Where the hell have you been?
1295
01:06:44,680 --> 01:06:47,319
AII right. I'm just gonna
get this out in the open.
1296
01:06:47,320 --> 01:06:49,039
Max had sex last night.
1297
01:06:49,040 --> 01:06:50,559
Oh, my God! Congratulations!
1298
01:06:50,560 --> 01:06:52,199
-This is huge!
-That is awesome, man.
1299
01:06:52,200 --> 01:06:53,479
With a dude.
1300
01:06:53,480 --> 01:06:54,559
Can I help you?
1301
01:06:54,560 --> 01:06:58,239
If only you could.
But my penis just isn't that into you.
1302
01:06:58,240 --> 01:06:59,999
Guys, I know it's a lot to digest,
1303
01:07:00,000 --> 01:07:02,279
and I've given it
a lot of thought, and it's not all bad.
1304
01:07:02,280 --> 01:07:03,359
On the one hand,
1305
01:07:03,360 --> 01:07:06,199
I'm gonna have a clean apartment,
beautiful clothes, washboard abs,
1306
01:07:06,200 --> 01:07:10,239
and I'll finally be able to admit that I know
every word on the Wicked soundtrack.
1307
01:07:10,240 --> 01:07:12,319
Plus I'll be having a shitload of sex!
1308
01:07:12,320 --> 01:07:14,239
On the downside, it'll be with guys.
1309
01:07:14,240 --> 01:07:17,119
So, you know, there's that, but
whatever, it's four to one. Right?
1310
01:07:17,120 --> 01:07:18,719
That's a pretty big one.
1311
01:07:18,720 --> 01:07:20,559
So you're gay! Whatever, right?
1312
01:07:20,560 --> 01:07:22,159
The point is, you got laid!
1313
01:07:22,160 --> 01:07:25,719
Yeah. You got laid.
1314
01:07:25,720 --> 01:07:26,799
That's awesome.
1315
01:07:26,800 --> 01:07:28,279
Yes! That's really great.
1316
01:07:28,280 --> 01:07:30,559
You're gonna pound so much... Butt.
1317
01:07:30,560 --> 01:07:33,519
But just so we're clear,
I'm... I'm not gay. You know?
1318
01:07:33,520 --> 01:07:35,719
-You're... You're not?
-No, no, Max is the gay one.
1319
01:07:35,720 --> 01:07:39,759
I'm a straight man living with a gay penis.
1320
01:07:39,760 --> 01:07:40,839
I'm Scottie, by the way.
1321
01:07:40,840 --> 01:07:44,439
Baby, you're gay.
1322
01:07:44,440 --> 01:07:48,359
Well, guys, I guess this is Fat Tuesday.
1323
01:07:48,360 --> 01:07:50,399
So much for that Bourbon Street balcony.
1324
01:07:50,400 --> 01:07:53,399
Could be worse.
At least we're all together, right?
1325
01:07:53,400 --> 01:07:55,879
A balcony? Is that all y'all want?
1326
01:07:55,880 --> 01:07:58,679
Come on, fellas.
1327
01:07:58,680 --> 01:08:05,680
Come on!
1328
01:08:11,120 --> 01:08:13,799
Hello, Tommy. Band these guys.
1329
01:08:13,800 --> 01:08:15,839
-What's goin' on?
-I have no idea.
1330
01:08:15,840 --> 01:08:20,199
That's gonna clash. Do you have it in yellow?
1331
01:08:20,200 --> 01:08:21,759
-Good evening, Ann Marie.
-Hey, Carl!
1332
01:08:21,760 --> 01:08:27,359
-Hey, Ann Marie!
-Hey, Laura.
1333
01:08:27,360 --> 01:08:32,599
Who are you?
1334
01:08:32,600 --> 01:08:34,719
How's this?
1335
01:08:34,720 --> 01:08:36,519
My dad's the hotel manager.
1336
01:08:36,520 --> 01:08:38,279
I get this room every Mardi Gras.
1337
01:08:38,280 --> 01:08:41,439
Are you shitting me!
1338
01:08:41,440 --> 01:08:44,919
You know,
you're not entirely lame after all, Lame Girl.
1339
01:08:44,920 --> 01:08:47,519
I was only gonna invite a few friends over.
1340
01:08:47,520 --> 01:08:52,519
Unless you have a better idea.
1341
01:08:52,520 --> 01:08:54,999
Gentlemen...
1342
01:08:55,000 --> 01:09:02,000
What do you say to a little soiree?
1343
01:09:35,480 --> 01:09:38,439
Yeah, baby!
1344
01:09:38,440 --> 01:09:45,440
-Oh, yeah, yeah, yes! For you!
-Wow!
1345
01:09:48,840 --> 01:09:50,599
What the fuck?
1346
01:09:50,600 --> 01:09:52,159
AII right, I've had enough.
1347
01:09:52,160 --> 01:09:53,319
I'm gonna go find Ann Marie.
1348
01:09:53,320 --> 01:09:55,119
Whoa! What about your balcony?
1349
01:09:55,120 --> 01:10:00,159
Mike! Sometimes the best part
of the party isn't the party.
1350
01:10:00,160 --> 01:10:01,639
You know what I mean?
1351
01:10:01,640 --> 01:10:03,359
I know exactly what you mean.
1352
01:10:03,360 --> 01:10:04,439
That doesn't even make sense!
1353
01:10:04,440 --> 01:10:07,359
What's the best part
of the party if it's not the party?
1354
01:10:07,360 --> 01:10:09,759
I don't even know what you're talking
about... Is this a straight thing?
1355
01:10:09,760 --> 01:10:12,079
Scottie!
1356
01:10:12,080 --> 01:10:13,399
Carmen?
1357
01:10:13,400 --> 01:10:15,559
Get down here, you silly boy!
1358
01:10:15,560 --> 01:10:16,639
Me?
1359
01:10:16,640 --> 01:10:19,639
Yeah, get down here now.
1360
01:10:19,640 --> 01:10:21,879
Listen.
1361
01:10:21,880 --> 01:10:23,959
If I don't make it back alive,
1362
01:10:23,960 --> 01:10:25,759
you tell the world Scottie Smith got laid.
1363
01:10:25,760 --> 01:10:27,079
AII right.
1364
01:10:27,080 --> 01:10:33,239
Maybe leave out the part
about it being with a dude.
1365
01:10:33,240 --> 01:10:34,879
Scottie!
1366
01:10:34,880 --> 01:10:37,039
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
1367
01:10:37,040 --> 01:10:44,040
What are you doin', bro?
1368
01:10:50,760 --> 01:10:52,199
Are you okay? I...
1369
01:10:52,200 --> 01:10:54,319
Yeah. I'm fine.
1370
01:10:54,320 --> 01:10:56,079
Where did you disappear to?
1371
01:10:56,080 --> 01:10:58,199
I was a little uncomfortable.
1372
01:10:58,200 --> 01:11:01,959
I think it was his first three-way.
1373
01:11:01,960 --> 01:11:04,279
A three-way?
1374
01:11:04,280 --> 01:11:05,359
You were there?
1375
01:11:05,360 --> 01:11:07,359
Yeah, silly.
1376
01:11:07,360 --> 01:11:08,839
-With Jonathan?
-Jonathan?
1377
01:11:08,840 --> 01:11:13,239
No. Jonathan has a boyfriend.
1378
01:11:13,240 --> 01:11:14,439
But isn't he great?
1379
01:11:14,440 --> 01:11:16,119
I'm so glad you guys had a chance to talk.
1380
01:11:16,120 --> 01:11:18,439
I asked him to bring you breakfast.
1381
01:11:18,440 --> 01:11:22,319
Who... Who was the third?
1382
01:11:22,320 --> 01:11:23,999
Max.
1383
01:11:24,000 --> 01:11:29,279
You mean, you, me, and Max?
1384
01:11:29,280 --> 01:11:31,519
You mean...
1385
01:11:31,520 --> 01:11:36,159
I'm not... He's not...
1386
01:11:36,160 --> 01:11:37,559
Mike!
1387
01:11:37,560 --> 01:11:39,039
Max isn't gay!
1388
01:11:39,040 --> 01:11:40,959
Hey, all right, man!
1389
01:11:40,960 --> 01:11:47,960
Max isn't gay! Max isn't gay!
1390
01:11:48,640 --> 01:11:55,640
I had sex with Carmen Electra!
1391
01:12:01,840 --> 01:12:03,359
Lucy!
1392
01:12:03,360 --> 01:12:09,439
Lucy!
1393
01:12:09,440 --> 01:12:16,440
Your friends do know
there's an elevator, right?
1394
01:12:18,880 --> 01:12:20,319
Lucy!
1395
01:12:20,320 --> 01:12:27,320
Lucy!
1396
01:12:28,000 --> 01:12:29,519
Lucy!
1397
01:12:29,520 --> 01:12:30,919
Lucy!
1398
01:12:30,920 --> 01:12:32,159
Lucy, can you hear me?
1399
01:12:32,160 --> 01:12:34,199
Hey! You suck!
1400
01:12:34,200 --> 01:12:35,879
Lucy!
1401
01:12:35,880 --> 01:12:36,959
Where are you, Lucy?
1402
01:12:36,960 --> 01:12:39,519
Lucy, where can you be?
1403
01:12:39,520 --> 01:12:40,639
Lucy!
1404
01:12:40,640 --> 01:12:42,199
Lucy!
1405
01:12:42,200 --> 01:12:45,679
Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy!
1406
01:12:45,680 --> 01:12:47,519
Come on, man! I'm trying to find this girl.
1407
01:12:47,520 --> 01:12:48,599
Lucy! Lucy!
1408
01:12:48,600 --> 01:12:50,679
Guys, please, please! Cut it out.
1409
01:12:50,680 --> 01:12:53,599
Her!
1410
01:12:53,600 --> 01:13:00,600
Lucy!
1411
01:13:00,640 --> 01:13:01,839
What do you want?
1412
01:13:01,840 --> 01:13:03,839
You!
1413
01:13:03,840 --> 01:13:04,919
What?
1414
01:13:04,920 --> 01:13:07,239
He wants you!
1415
01:13:07,240 --> 01:13:11,479
What about your girlfriend?
1416
01:13:11,480 --> 01:13:15,399
Do you see me hijacking
a parade float to talk to her?
1417
01:13:15,400 --> 01:13:17,279
You said last night
1418
01:13:17,280 --> 01:13:19,479
that we all have our roles.
1419
01:13:19,480 --> 01:13:22,239
What I didn't know
is that I've been playing a role
1420
01:13:22,240 --> 01:13:24,199
for far too long.
1421
01:13:24,200 --> 01:13:25,799
A role that isn't me!
1422
01:13:25,800 --> 01:13:27,319
So who are you?
1423
01:13:27,320 --> 01:13:28,399
What?
1424
01:13:28,400 --> 01:13:30,559
Who are you?
1425
01:13:30,560 --> 01:13:32,599
I'm the guy you met yesterday.
1426
01:13:32,600 --> 01:13:35,919
The guy who, who kissed two
dudes with a cherry in his mouth.
1427
01:13:35,920 --> 01:13:40,039
The guy who deep-throated a banana!
1428
01:13:40,040 --> 01:13:41,359
That's not what it sounds like.
1429
01:13:41,360 --> 01:13:43,519
Mike! We've only known each other for like...
1430
01:13:43,520 --> 01:13:47,359
Thirty-nine and a half hours!
1431
01:13:47,360 --> 01:13:50,879
Now, I know last night was crazy,
and I know things could�ve gone better.
1432
01:13:50,880 --> 01:13:53,959
But I have never felt this way before.
1433
01:13:53,960 --> 01:13:56,759
And I will do anything to prove that to you!
1434
01:13:56,760 --> 01:13:58,519
Show your tits!
1435
01:13:58,520 --> 01:14:00,279
Show your tits!
1436
01:14:00,280 --> 01:14:02,279
Show your tits!
1437
01:14:02,280 --> 01:14:03,479
Guys, come on, now. Let's...
1438
01:14:03,480 --> 01:14:10,480
Show your tits! Show your tits!
1439
01:14:28,480 --> 01:14:35,480
Fuck it.
1440
01:14:39,240 --> 01:14:43,479
Cousin Mike!
1441
01:14:43,480 --> 01:14:50,480
Yeah!
1442
01:14:53,080 --> 01:14:55,359
You've earned these.
1443
01:14:55,360 --> 01:15:00,119
Not yet.
1444
01:15:00,120 --> 01:15:05,519
I'm gonna have to ask for these back now.
1445
01:15:05,520 --> 01:15:08,439
Will you please stop that?
1446
01:15:08,440 --> 01:15:15,440
Get up here and make me!
1447
01:15:33,120 --> 01:15:35,039
What happened to playing it safe?
1448
01:15:35,040 --> 01:15:42,040
Safe sucks.
1449
01:15:48,040 --> 01:15:49,439
Whoa!
1450
01:15:49,440 --> 01:15:51,479
Yeah.
1451
01:15:51,480 --> 01:15:53,079
Hi, Mike.
1452
01:15:53,080 --> 01:15:56,119
I saw your penis.
1453
01:15:56,120 --> 01:15:58,679
That was very upsetting.
1454
01:15:58,680 --> 01:16:00,399
Hi. Big fan.
1455
01:16:00,400 --> 01:16:02,239
I'm a big fan.
1456
01:16:02,240 --> 01:16:03,679
So where're we going for spring break?
1457
01:16:03,680 --> 01:16:05,399
Rio, baby!
1458
01:16:05,400 --> 01:16:06,879
AII right,
I have been talking to a bunch of people,
1459
01:16:06,880 --> 01:16:07,999
and they all say the same thing.
1460
01:16:08,000 --> 01:16:11,479
They got a Mardi Gras that's way more,
way more messed up than this.
1461
01:16:11,480 --> 01:16:16,519
Plus, Brazil's doing some
really good things with vaginas these days.
1462
01:16:16,520 --> 01:16:17,719
What, too far?
1463
01:16:17,720 --> 01:16:18,799
I'm heading to Cancun.
1464
01:16:18,800 --> 01:16:21,599
Cancun? More like cannot-stop-taking-shits.
1465
01:16:21,600 --> 01:16:23,199
You ever drink the water
down there, Carmen?
1466
01:16:23,200 --> 01:16:24,479
What about Daytona Beach?
1467
01:16:24,480 --> 01:16:26,039
Yeah. Or South Padre.
1468
01:16:26,040 --> 01:16:27,959
Guys, guys, guys!
1469
01:16:27,960 --> 01:16:30,719
We're coming back to New Orleans!
1470
01:16:30,720 --> 01:16:32,839
The greatest goddamn city in the world!
1471
01:16:32,840 --> 01:16:33,959
To Mardi Gras!
1472
01:16:33,960 --> 01:16:35,599
-To Mardi Gras.
-To Mardi Gras!
1473
01:16:35,600 --> 01:16:42,600
Mardi Gras!
1474
01:17:07,480 --> 01:17:08,959
It was so good seeing Cousin Mike.
1475
01:17:08,960 --> 01:17:11,719
I know, it was so sweet of him to come visit.
1476
01:17:11,720 --> 01:17:13,559
I wish he could�ve stayed longer.
1477
01:17:13,560 --> 01:17:16,319
Me, too. It was sad to see him leave.
1478
01:17:16,320 --> 01:17:19,959
You know, this is gonna sound kind of weird,
1479
01:17:19,960 --> 01:17:23,839
but there was one thing
I wanted to do with him.
1480
01:17:23,840 --> 01:17:25,279
Do you know what I'm thinking?
1481
01:17:25,280 --> 01:17:26,399
Totally.
1482
01:17:26,400 --> 01:17:29,119
Apple picking!
1483
01:17:29,120 --> 01:17:33,719
-That would�ve been so great.
-I know.
1484
01:17:33,720 --> 01:17:35,119
Also, I wish he would�ve fucked us.
1485
01:17:35,120 --> 01:17:39,799
Big time.
1486
01:17:39,800 --> 01:17:44,639
What has two thumbs, a hard-on,
and wants this guy to get laid?
1487
01:17:44,640 --> 01:17:45,799
This guy.
1488
01:17:45,800 --> 01:17:49,759
Who has more better odds in life than me?
1489
01:17:49,760 --> 01:17:56,760
Oh, boy.
1490
01:17:57,760 --> 01:17:59,879
They want these, they gotta show bush.
1491
01:17:59,880 --> 01:18:01,119
They gotta show a little pussy bush.
1492
01:18:01,120 --> 01:18:02,719
Gotta show a little vag bush.
1493
01:18:02,720 --> 01:18:09,720
Vag pussy bush.
1494
01:18:16,760 --> 01:18:18,039
I thought that...
1495
01:18:18,040 --> 01:18:20,319
I didn't get my line out.
1496
01:18:20,320 --> 01:18:22,599
Hey, you got a lot of...
1497
01:18:22,600 --> 01:18:23,919
Which fucking floor?
1498
01:18:23,920 --> 01:18:30,920
Number two.
1499
01:18:31,360 --> 01:18:37,719
I wanna make Mardi Gras my bitch!
1500
01:18:37,720 --> 01:18:40,239
I know you lost your mind, little white boy.
1501
01:18:40,240 --> 01:18:47,240
Gonna take you more than $100.
1502
01:19:23,800 --> 01:19:26,079
No!
1503
01:19:26,080 --> 01:19:28,159
Hang on, one more.
1504
01:19:28,160 --> 01:19:35,160
No!
1505
01:19:37,200 --> 01:19:39,359
She lied and showed
all of New Orleans his tits.
1506
01:19:39,360 --> 01:19:41,759
-Hey, don't you have a game?
-His tits?
1507
01:19:41,760 --> 01:19:47,479
Her tits. Jesus Christ.
1508
01:19:47,480 --> 01:19:54,480
Fuck!
1509
01:19:56,000 --> 01:20:01,479
Fuck, the bow tie just fell off!
1510
01:20:01,480 --> 01:20:04,839
I remember the first time
I got an erection on the set.
1511
01:20:04,840 --> 01:20:11,840
It was tonight, Duane.
1512
01:20:12,600 --> 01:20:14,239
Join us tomorrow...
1513
01:20:14,240 --> 01:20:15,439
Crap.
1514
01:20:15,440 --> 01:20:22,440
AII of a sudden
the shit scene's looking good, huh?
1515
01:20:30,240 --> 01:20:37,240
Coming through.
1516
01:20:57,440 --> 01:21:02,679
The chicks! They came back!
1517
01:21:02,680 --> 01:21:09,680
My grandfather died.
1518
01:21:09,681 --> 01:21:10,681
- Subtitles By Moneyboi -